Cheating Death....

Okay, So I didn't even realize that I had this picture stored on my computer but I came across it recently. It is significant to me for one reason; one week before this picture was taken a doctor took a saw to my head peeled back my scalp and sawed open my skull to remove a tiny bone off some nerves that were inflamed and dying because of Bells Palsy I had contracted. Scientifically it is called a crainiotomy, I call it torture.

A year later I had my gums peeled back and my jaw cut open to get out an infection. This was done by an oral surgeon. Unfortunately, because I was pregnant at the time he couldn't give me any laughing gas or knock me out, I had to do all of it with a shot of local antesthetic. Ouchy.

My most recent stunt was getting HELLP Syndrome, which nobody ever seems to have heard of because it is extremely rare. It just means I had really dangerous preeclampsia that was going to give me seizures and kill the baby and I if they didn't deliver me. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. The epidural didn't work of course because my platelets were so low. I did 22 hours of pitocin induced labor. I've heard inducing makes the contractions longer. Also the Magnesium Sulfate I was taking to discourage seizures was pretty bad medication. It made me lose my memory. I thought I was going crazy and I didn't even know I had a baby after my c-section. I got really bad panic attacks, several in a row at the hospital.

My husband and I joke that like a cat I have 9 lives. With the pneumonia, cellulitous and mono that I have we guess I've been through about 5 lives. I'm really blessed that God has kept me here. I have a pain threshold, I'm okay even though I've been through a lot. But what kills me, what I just can't handle is that my baby seems to have taken after me in the health department. He spent 9 days in the NICU which were the worst days of my life. If you've never had a child in the NICU there is just know what to ever understand or know. Bringing him home was the happiest day of my life. I thought we were out of the woods. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Now he goes to cardiology at Primary Children's Hospital to watch his heart. I know the day is coming that once again I'll be sitting next to his bed. If I were given the chance, I would take all of this for him. It breaks my heart to see him go through all of this. I'm glad that I can sort of understand him though, we can cheat death together. I'll even donate him the last 4 lives I've been holding on to.